As I was saying (at the beginning of the last post)…I am going to take time out from writing this blog – at least three months. The reasons are twofold.

Since the Tantra course, which finished a month ago now, I’ve been quite transformed. I’m much less driven and preoccupied than I used to be, indeed, as I have been my whole adult life. I now think of my life in terms of ‘before LT1’ and ‘after LT1’ (LT1 being the name of the course I did with Jan Day: ‘Living Tantra 1’). Before LT1, I used to be obsessively immersed in my work or projects, often at significant cost to my relationships as well as my health and well-being. Since LT1, I’ve been much less obsessive; more relaxed, balanced and at peace. Before LT1, I was a chronic insomniac, typically sleeping until 3 or 4am and then getting up, usually to work. Since LT1, I’ve been sleeping through until 7am every morning. There’s a connection here, of course. My insomnia was caused by a hyperactive mind, obsessively anticipating the work or project related events of the coming day, pre-empting potential challenges and solving problems in advance.

I am truly grateful for this transformation. But the downside is that it’s left me without those 3 or 4 hours in the morning during which I used to write. Almost all of my blog writing has been done between 3 or 4am and 7am. It’s been a time when the house and neighbourhood were quiet, and I’ve been inspired, alert and imaginative. Indeed, over the years, it’s been the time when I’ve done my best work, whether it be planning, designing or writing. So now I don’t have that time to write. But nor am I as driven to do so as I used to be. Before LT1, I used to obsess about writing a post every week or week and a half, at most. I’d feel like a failure if I didn’t meet this demanding self-imposed regime. That compulsion has now evaporated. My inner critic is relaxed even about this decision to stop posting for a while.

And there is a second reason for pausing the blog at this time. I’m super busy in my current job in the Findhorn Foundation. I work in the Conference Office, as part of a team that organises the conferences and events we hold. The GEN+20 Summit in July has been my baby for the last few months; and for the next 3 months, it will be my sole focus. The Global Ecovillage Network (GEN) is holding its 20th anniversary conference, it being 20 years since the organisation was formed here in Findhorn. GEN+20 could possibly be the second biggest event we have ever held, attracting between 300 and 400 participants from afar and engaging another couple of hundred folk from our own community. It’s going to be hugely complex and demanding of our resources. I think I need to put my available time and energy there now, rather than into the blog and other projects.

Thanks all, subscribers and casual readers, for your interest and support.

With love and blessings

Graham

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