Dear all (blog followers and casual readers),

As the Australian boxer, Jeff Fenech, used to say… ‘I LOVE YOUSE ALL.’

I have just come off a week long, intensive, Tantra training for beginners. And this feeling is the result. I am totally in love with everyone, everything, indeed the whole damned universe. I feel the sacredness of life and the oneness of it all. I genuinely feel that “all that I am, is one with all that is” – a phrase repeatedly invoked during the course. And in saying that, I have already disregarded a request made by Jan Day, the Tantra teacher who held the course, that we don’t disclose anything about the week to others. So from here on, I’m not going to reveal any more of the content or the detail. I am at liberty, however, to mention how the experience was for me so long as it doesn’t directly refer to people and events.

Jan’s request is made for good reason. She rightly points out that it’s impossible to communicate the full meaning of particular processes or occurrences without setting the context. Each element of the course only makes sense in relation to all the others. Indeed they form an integral package of processes that take participants on a week-long journey of initiation that can only be understood in the doing, the experiencing and the journeying. Reading or hearing about it doesn’t, in the slightest way, convey the experience. And apart from that, knowing about the content in advance would spoil the experience for anyone who subsequently decided to do the workshop. At no time during the week were we given a schedule or otherwise told of what was coming next. And that in itself was powerful. Each new step in the journey was a complete surprise. The unfolding of the experience felt like being led on a magical mystery tour.

The course finished on Friday afternoon, two days ago. On leaving, I dropped a friend at the airport, did some shopping and headed home. I barely had time to unpack before it was time for dinner in the Community Centre and a date with ten lovely new friends; Jan, her husband Frieder and 8 or so of the assistants on the course have come to the Park for a weekend of R & R (rest and recreation). I had booked them into dinner as guests of the 5 Findhorn Foundation coworkers who attended the course. That was another special dimension of the experience for me i.e. undertaking a journey of profound personal discovery with people who were already friends. We deepened our connection immeasurably, I feel. And in the case of one particular co-worker, he and I established a heart connection where before there was distance and resistance between us.

I don’t know what more I can say really, given the non-disclosure agreement. The venue for the workshop was the gracious Newbold House, a fine late Victorian manor house set in beautiful gardens 5 miles from Findhorn. Newbold is home to a small intentional community of about a dozen people who live by the same spiritual principles and practices as we do here in Findhorn. Indeed, they are an offspring community. Like us, they run workshops and other programmes throughout the year and also provide an excellent B&B service. I’d personally like to thank the Newbold community for their loving care and attention throughout the week. The logistics of hosting such a large workshop can not have been simple. But they ensured that our needs were well met whilst remaining completely inconspicuous, which to my mind is key to successful event hosting.

Last night I went with a friend to see the Scottish Ballet perform Tennessee Williams’ Streetcar Named Desire, a classic story of love, desire and sexuality. In my heightened state of sensitivity to exactly those aspects of our common humanity, I was totally transfixed and moved by the performance. Gore Vidal said of the original play that it ‘changed the concept of sex in America.’ How synchronistic that I should attend such a performance the day after completing a Tantra initiation. For I believe Jan’s course has likewise changed my conception of my own sexuality. I learned an enormous amount throughout the week, about my long-held sexual attitudes, preoccupations and patterns. Some of the lessons were hard, but all the more beneficial for that. And some of the experience was truly transformative and inspiring. I cannot recommend Jan’s courses highly enough. She is a ‘master teacher,’ as one of the participants said in the closing circle. Here is a link to her website.

Apologies for the brevity and lack of content in this post. But I wanted to check in with the blogosphere, even without having a great deal to say; it’s been over two weeks, too long, since I last posted.

With extra love, Graham